After two pregnancies, I have acquired some much needed tips and tricks for new moms as far as what to expect during pregnancy, and how to cope and prepare for it!
Listen to your Body
It’s going through a lot of changes. Your hormones are haywire, your body is growing and expanding (just like your heart!) and your head is probably feeling a little fuzzy (we all like to call this pregnancy brain!). It’s really important that over these next few months that you truly focus on how you and your body feels. Sleep as much as possible, don't lift anything too heavy, and if something doesn't feel right, don't do it. So if you feel like you need to rest, then by all means take a three hour nap, and skip the guilt, because that’s what your body needs, and will need a lot of over the next several months. In fact, from here on out, sleep as much as possible because it is so hard to sleep the third trimester, and after the baby comes you will be up all night for MONTHS.
Download a Baby App!
This helped me stay on track with mine and baby’s growing development AND it has great resources for all of those questions you might want to, or don’t even know you should be, asking your doctor. It also gave me insight to a lot of things that were changing about my body and symptoms that I would never expect (like hemorrhoids, an unfortunate and inevitable part of growing a human) and how to combat them. It also provided a community, if needed, of other expecting women to connect with if needed!
I used these three (yes, three) for my last pregnancy, and they were full of fun facts, a place to upload your weekly bump pictures (so cool to look back on your tummy each week) weekly updates for you and baby, as well as super cool videos of baby’s growth in the womb.
Baby Center, The Bump, and What to Expect.
Self-love & Self-Care
You are 100% not going to be the same size, and, like most women, probably won’t be (if ever) for a very very long time. And believe me when I say, your body is NEVER going to look the same, whether it’s the hard-earned tiger stripes, wider hips, a well-loved (and remember, lived in!) mom-pooch, and even sagging skin. So listen to me when I say self-love is so important. From my own experience, it is not helpful to beat yourself up with negative comments on the new body you are growing into. You earned this body, by going through the most incredible experience we as women are lucky to have, growing life. While it will take more than months, probably even years, to feel comfortable in your body, expect for it to take some time to learn and love the new body you will soon be in. Learn it, love it, nourish it, and care for it. It’s the only one you got. Besides, no one ever looked back in their 80’s and said, “Wow I’m glad I wasted so much time hating my body” Spend that time loving your new child instead.
Treat Yourself!
To everything! The food, a comfy new maternity dress, some awesome bath stuff (trust me), anything that makes you feel happy, without breaking the bank of course. If your a first time mom, this is some of the last moments of being, sort of, alone, with you and with your partner. It’s important to treat yourself some alone time, so curl up with a new book, take the time to doll yourself up, and guiltlessly binge-watch all the Netflix shows on your list. And don’t forget to treat you and your partner to some time together. Once that baby comes, time together, even the time to talk about your day, becomes very, very limited. It’s the perfect excuse for friday date nights, so make a list of some things you wasn’t to do around town before the baby comes. You know, the pregnancy friendly date-night (which means no ice-skating, boating, skydiving, etc. Just check with your doctor if you are unsure). And while you can’t treat yourself to a strawberry marg (my ultimate pregnancy craving, which I have yet to fulfill as I am breastfeeding) you can totally treat yourself to some dessert. Have a piece of cake, even two.
Eat Well & Indulge
Like I said, have a piece of cake, even two. Screw what the critics and health diets say. You're going to feel like a cow by the end of pregnancy no matter how healthy you eat, so yeah, go ahead and have two pieces of cake if you want it. You deserve it and no one else should tell you otherwise. However, it is still important to nourish your body, and baby, so be sure you are eating your fruits and veggies every day, as well as mixing in some pregnancy superfoods.
Be Prepared. There is a LOT to prepare for, especially if you are a first-time-mom, and that’s why this is my longest section of this post. I recommend you to do all the reading you can online about how to prepare for your new bundle of joy, from classes to the things you will need the first few months of birth. Pinterest was a joy for me in determining how many clothes I actually needed for newborn, 0-3 months, etc.
Take a Class
I highly recommend taking a class or two. Check with the hospital you are planning on delivering at for a list of available parenting classes, birth classes (or la mas classes), breastfeeding classes, etc. My first pregnancy I took a birth class and it covered everything! We went over what to expect in the delivery room, common delivery procedures and complications, what childbirth is like, when to go to the hospital, how to time contractions, how to manage contraction pain (it is unlike any pain on earth). We were even given a tour of the labor and delivery floors and rooms, which was really nice.
Our second pregnancy, I didn’t feel the need to take a birth class, but we did take our four year old to a “big sibling camp” which was really freaking awesome. Our son truly enjoyed learning from a person other than mom and dad on what to expect about a new baby in the house. She went over how to diaper, swaddle, and feed a baby, and even what to expect the first few weeks, like how the baby can’t play with toys, and the right toys for a baby and the dangers of small items. Once the class was over (complete with a learning book, clear backpack for the hospital, coloring book, juice box and a snack) we got to tour the labor and delivery floor again, but this time they were able to show the kids a brand new little babe from the nursery, and got to meet her very proud big brother. It was a cool experience.
Getting Baby Stuff
There is a lot of stuff to buy for a new baby, especially if your a first time mom. Baby showers, are a traditional way to get a lot of the things you need for baby. Be sure to build a registry if you are having one so people know what you need help with! Or even have a diaper keg! We didn’t have a baby shower, no one threw one for us and the timing didn’t seem right for us to throw one for ourselves (which is not traditional, but yes, totally okay if you want to, this is 2019 now) as we were poor and in college, or just married when we had children. So if you are like us, and aren’t planning to have a shower here are some ways to get baby stuff!
Don’t be afraid to start buying now, and seriously look for end of season sales! Even if you don’t know the gender, there is a lot of things you can buy early on, like a baby bath tub, bottles, burp rags and bibs. Stores also have a ton of gender neutral clothing items. I was so excited I spent the first three months buying grey and white sleepers and onesies. If you want to save some money, don’t be afraid to buy used, or even ask for help from family members. With our first, we had a lot of friends and family, and even a college professor who gave us some gently used clothing items and it was so helpful. And for each Christmas we were expecting, instead of the usual cash and gifts from family, we asked for baby items. Also, Swap sites on facebook are the holy grail for gently used and inexpensive baby clothes/items. You can score brand new baby swings that typically retail $60+, for like, $15. Often times, at least in my area, there are a ton of people who sell an entire season’s worth of clothing, like 6-9mo baby girl summer clothes, for like $20, and that is seriously a steal.
Explore Childcare NOW
If you are not planning to stay at home with the baby after birth, or do not have the luxury of having grandma, or other family member, watch your baby while you return to work, you have got to explore your childcare options now. We started looking for childcare at about 4 months along, and we are so glad we did. Often times the good local daycare centers have waiting lists, since there are only certain numbers they can take for each age group. We found that the one we wanted, if we had not gone in when we did, we would not have gotten on the waitlist in time to enter him in childcare when I needed to back to work, or in my case, school. Be sure to make sure the facility you are looking into is state certified, and equipped with the proper security, as well as monitoring cameras in each room.
And while we are on this topic, be prepared to bawl your freaking eyes out when you take your baby to child care for the first time, or first few times. I did, and now with my second, I am already dreading taking her to another to be taken care of. But as a parent, you gotta do what you gotta do to give your child the best life. And for us, that’s two working parents, and an awesome childcare center with spectacular learning programs starting at age 2.
And Be Prepared to be Unprepared.
While there is so much preparing to do, be prepared to be unprepared. After all, there is only so much planning you can do. While you have a due date, you more than likely will not be delivering on that due date, and could easily go two weeks before, or two weeks later, because it is only an estimation, not an exact science. While you may have written out a birth plan and think you have everything laid out exactly how you want it to go in the hospital, it’s just not that simple. You may have in your birth plan that you want a natural birth, but when you start to really feeling those contractions , you may be screaming to the gods for an epidural (amen for that) and all the pain meds you can get, and that is okay!
So be prepared for the unprepared. Just let loose a little.
Let go of all of the expectations, enjoy your pregnancy, stop stressing, and enjoy each and every moment here on out.
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