The Hard Part

I thought that teething would be the hard

part. Then it was the terrible twos. And then it was taking him to the pre-k meet and greet. But no, this is the hardest part. Not giving him all of my undivided attention. Not always being his best friend. Not always listening. Not always being the best mom in each and every moment. Not being able to baby him, getting upset at his whining and telling him he needs to “grow up a little”. The words sound so harsh to me, but that’s the hard part of parenting, we have to be the “bad guys” to raise the “good guys”.

With a new baby in the house, it’s been an adjustment for all of us, and that’s quite an understatement. Most days, my toddler’s increase in whining and complaining sounds like nails on chalkboard, and I clench my teeth, counting down the minutes until bedtime. I get Irritated so easily and then angry at myself for even being irritated. I’d by lying if I said I haven’t struggled; yelling at my sweet boy in frustration, crying when I feel like I’ve failed as a parent, and eating my feelings from a tub of ice cream as I complain to my husband about the trials of my days.

It’s. So. Freaking. Hard.

I read all all of the articles, took new sibling classes, and did my homework on prepping the first child for the arrival of the second. But it simply does not prepare for the unexpected heartbreak of you AND your child, the realization your first baby is no longer a baby. The confusion he feels when the baby is hungry and crying, and mom cant just stop the world for him anymore. And oh my sweet boy, how I wish I could.

But I know, while things seem hard, it’s only for the moment. The moment will pass, and he will stop whining, and start kindergarten. The baby will stop being a baby and grow into toddler. And the cycle will begin again when we have a third child. And it’s in these moments when i reflect on how hard it is, that I remember I’m not the only mom dealing with this, and certainly not the last. I remember that these moments will pass, and to learn from them, love them, and cherish them. Because someday, when my kids are grown, and have kids if their own, that’s all they will be, is moments turned to memories, fading away and lost in time.

So I will learn from these hard moments, and love them, and cherish them.